Eve of Blowing Up My Life...almost, but not really

I'm doing it again, I'm going all in on a diet craze!  I know, I know, I've done it before.  What's going to be different?  I'm going to be different.  I promise ME I'm going to be different.  I'm going in with my eyes wide open, research done and knowing that this is going to be FRICKIN hard and that it's FOREVER!  FRICKIN FOREVER, like my marriage, like my love for my kids, like my walk with God.  I'm trusting science.  I'm trusting myself.  I'm being honest with Brian.  I'm going to show him my starting wait...eek!  I think he'll get it then.  Like really get it.  I have no idea how much he thinks I weigh.  But I know he loves me, despite me not loving me all the time.

Optifast has a terrible failure to finish rate and a worse rate of those who keep the weight off.  Same with any other diet plan made for us humans whose addiction is to food, whose comfort is food, who hides with food.  Yeah, you can't live without food....but I want to live and I want a quality of life I don't have right now.  

Also, I'm 54.  Mom didn't get to live 55 and beyond.  I'm going to live 55 and beyond and it's time to address it.   It's time to address I'm an adult, this is my life, my one and only life.  And I get to make this life anyway that I want.  I don't like how I'm making it now.  I'm not happy with myself, I want more for me.  The time is now for me.....


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