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Eve of Blowing Up My Life...almost, but not really

I'm doing it again, I'm going all in on a diet craze!  I know, I know, I've done it before.  What's going to be different?  I'm going to be different.  I promise ME I'm going to be different.  I'm going in with my eyes wide open, research done and knowing that this is going to be FRICKIN hard and that it's FOREVER!  FRICKIN FOREVER, like my marriage, like my love for my kids, like my walk with God.  I'm trusting science.  I'm trusting myself.  I'm being honest with Brian.  I'm going to show him my starting wait...eek!  I think he'll get it then.  Like really get it.  I have no idea how much he thinks I weigh.  But I know he loves me, despite me not loving me all the time. Optifast has a terrible failure to finish rate and a worse rate of those who keep the weight off.  Same with any other diet plan made for us humans whose addiction is to food, whose comfort is food, who hides with food.  Yeah, you can't liv...
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Fat Tuesday

2020...Fat Tuesday.  I'm 52 years old.  How did I get here?  Not really, of course, because I know that what the last 52 years have been like, I have been present in my own life.  But really, 52?!  52 year olds are OLD...I mean really OLD!  HOW DID I GET HERE?  Ugh!  Yes, I know how I got here...pretty much the usual way....being born, growing up, enduring those terrible tween years and those equally humiliating early 20's with the akward make-out sessions and flirting and hoping (being almost more addicted to the hope of a relationship than any interest in actually being in one!) to meeting the hubs, pushing out babies, adopting the girls, my 40's and now 52!  Yikes it sure went by fast! Now it's FAT TUESDAY 2020.  Embarking on another lenten season.  Honestly, one of my favorite times.  Winter is waning and the hope of Spring looms on the horizons.  The light lingers longer into the evening but the enveloping graynes...
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